A few weeks ago, our oldest son turned 18.
I knew this day was coming.
I’ve watched it inch closer every time I tripped over his rugby gear in the hallway, every time I wondered where he’s taking “the” car (it used to be MY car), and every time I realized his voice had dropped another octave without asking my permission.
I’m sad there are fewer days left with him in our home.
But I’m also excited. Genuinely excited! Because what’s ahead for him feels big and full of possibility. He’s off to university this summer, where he’ll make new friends and come away with new ideas. And also a fresh perspective on independence.
The tricky part for his mom and me?
How do we help… without getting in the way?
How do you set things up so your young adult kids have a head start, without accidentally building a crutch they lean on forever?
Here’s 4 Action Steps We’ve Done So Far:
1. RESPs
We started their RESPs when both boys were babies. Nothing fancy. Just consistent deposits and long-term growth which will now cover at least half of their university costs of residence, food, and tuition. That doesn’t eliminate responsibility on their end, but it lowers the stress and keeps options open.
2. Life Insurance and Critical Illness Insurance
We also also put life insurance and critical illness insurance in place for both boys when they were babies. Not because we expected anything bad to happen, but because health changes can quietly close doors later in life. If they ever want to start a business, buy into a professional partnership, or just protect their home mortgages, those policies protect their insurability no matter what twists their health could take.
Their critical illness policies are fully paid up and protects them for life with a great kicker….most of the premiums will come back to them when they turn 25, about $23,000. We think of it as a future gift from our past selves.
3. We Hired Our Oldest Son To Help With Office Stuff
For the last few years, he’s helped me with office duties. Nothing glamorous, just some basic admin work. We paid him a modest salary, which he quietly saved most of (although a few pizzas have been ordered when we turned our backs).
But now he’s 18.
Which means new doors just opened.
And now we want to use his greatest asset while he’s off studying and forging his own path. Time.
4. We Leverage Time.
So, what else can we do now that he’s (yikes!) an adult?
The first easy win is his TFSA.
Even with no earned income, he now has TFSA room. We can move $7,000 from his savings into a TFSA and let it grow tax-free. If he averages 8% per year (which is pretty reasonable over a long stretch), with regular yearly contributions that becomes over $143,000 by age 30.
Then there’s the First Home Savings Account (FHSA).
I love these.
We can contribute up to $40,000 total, with a maximum of $8,000 per year. The money grows tax-free, just like a TFSA. And not only can the money and growth be taken out tax-free for a home, but the $40,000 of contributions are a deduction he’s able to save until later when he’s out and working with a higher income right when adult life starts getting expensive.
If we steadily fill it and leave it alone until 30, that’s another $87,000 added to the mix.
RSPs? Not yet. We’re saving that contribution room until he’s working and paying a higher tax rate.
Put it all together and, without doing anything flashy, he’s looking at roughly $253,000 by age 30.
That’s a real down payment. That’s wedding flexibility. That’s entrepreneurial breathing room. That’s “no panic” money when life throws a curveball.
Slow, Steady Saving Helps Our Future 30-Year-Old Sons
Thirty-year-old men? OMG. Pass me the Kleenex!
It just requires starting early… and then getting out of the way. Yes, these are gifts, but they’re smaller ones done regularly and allowing time to compound them while our boys are busy with the next stages of their lives.
Put it all together and, without doing anything flashy, he’s looking at roughly $253,000 by age 30.
It offers growth without stealing the struggle that helps them grow.
From allowance to autonomy.
It’s a weird, emotional, exciting, slightly terrifying transition. (Both for our eldest son and his parents!)
But if the last 18 years taught me anything, it’s this:
Time is the real secret weapon, and good structure beats good intentions.
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